


Anytime you reach for me

by chaoticdean



Series: Suptober 2020 [29]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Darkest Roads Verse, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Making Love, Suptober 2020 (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, idk how to tag this anymore they're just so in love bro, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:28:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27287179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticdean/pseuds/chaoticdean
Summary: Suptober 2020, day 29: fragile.A look into what sex used to mean to Dean before Cas, and how his world has been turned upside down ever since he got in bed with a former angel of the lord.———(Darkest Roads' verse)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Suptober 2020 [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949341
Comments: 8
Kudos: 132





	Anytime you reach for me

At the very beginning, Dean used to put on a show. He’d live up to the expectation of what he’d been showcasing the entire time: bold and cocky, over-confident, and strong. Not gonna lie, the sex was almost always good, but it also felt like an act, and it left Dean feeling nauseous whenever he left yet another bed, up to when he’d slipped into the shower to wash away the sins. But it’s something he’d learn to live with, something to hold onto amongst the horrors surrounding his whole life.

Then it became some sort of cure-it-all. Sex was his version of all-you-can-heal. If whisky and blood can’t cure your ill-being, maybe the answer is in between the sheets with a different partner every night, trying to forget the blood on your hand by losing yourself in someone else’s touches. It wasn’t healthy and it wasn’t remotely good enough, but it was a small bandage on a whole lot of cuts.

Then Cas happened, and everything in Dean’s life took a spin.

It’s fair to say that ever since they first got into bed together, Dean’s relationship to sex has been completely and utterly changed, and tonight is no different. Castiel doesn’t touch to take; doesn’t bite to harm; doesn’t kiss to bruise. His hands roaming on Dean’s skin are not there to scar, or to hurt. Every single one of his touches is filled with something pure, with an intent of love, passion, and need.

Dean didn’t think it was possible until Cas came along. Everything had always been about taking and owning and roughing him up, and it was fine by him. He wasn’t used to gentle touches, to caresses and slow fingertips discovering how every single one of his muscles works.

Dean falls apart underneath him; loses himself into each and every one of their moans; allows himself to be something else than the shell he built for himself all of these years ago; lets himself be something fragile under Castiel’s fingertips, someone that deserves more than just a couple of touches and a hard fuck. He lets their breaths mingle, finds Cas’ lips into the madness of their bodies coming together, and breathes like it’s the first time he’s ever been allowed to.Castiel is warm against him, burning, even. He’s a solid reminder that they’re here, they’re real, they’re not going anywhere.

Dean used to believe that sex was just a proxy, a way to blow of steam, to feel something, but with Cas, it’s all about connecting. It’s like they’re one in the moment, forever untangled, skin pressed into each other’s and their names falling off each other’s tongue.

“I love you,” Castiel whispers against his lips before thrusting into him full force one last time and coming right here and now, still buried inside of him, “fuck, Dean.”

It’s pure madness; supernova, even. The way Cas cries out against his skin, his name echoing into his bones as he repeats it over and over like a litany, his breath on Dean’s oversensitive skin sending shivers down his body.

When Castiel comes, it sets something off in Dean. It’s like every single cell in his body fills with Castiel’s, like they’re so mixed up in each other that their bodies are just one. It doesn’t take him a lot longer to come then, his mind flashing multicolor, Castiel’s “I love you” still ringing into his ear.

They stay a long time like this, Castiel collapsed on Dean’s chest as their breathing evens. Dean lifts the covers around them after a while, unable to even process the thought of tearing himself away from Cas’ contact as the sweat on their skin starts to dry.

“I love you, too,” he murmurs against Cas’ hair before they both dangerously walk the line of sleep, still clinging onto each other.

Castiel’s hands never leave him, clutching him closer, tighter. A subtle reminder that they’re real, wrapped together; that they’re allowed to be fragile, wrapped in love.

**Author's Note:**

> __  
>  **rebloggable on[Tumblr](https://chaoticdean.tumblr.com/post/633433711415853056/anytime-you-reach-for-me)**   
> 


End file.
